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**~GentlemenPreferBlondes~**~The Platinum Zeitgeist~
25 septembre Drama & The CityDust off your Manolos and mix up another cosmopolitan because it's finally happening! The moment we've all been waiting for...
 Filming has started in New York for the big screen version of Sex & The City due out in theatres spring 2008
 Carrie and the gang are back in all their funny and fashionable glory...
 Thank goodness for money hungry producers who remain in denial over the show's continuing viability!!
...
Well my Britney free blogging was fun while it lasted (ahem only one post) Things have gone from bad to worse for Brit since her MTV VMAs debacle
 K-Fed has been awarded joint custody of the wee ones, and Britney has received news from the Los Angeles City Attorney that she has been charged with one count of hit-and-run causing property damage and driving without a valid license stemming from a fender-bender in a Los Angeles parking lot on August 6
 Brit faces a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail for each of the two misdemeanors. A hearing is set for October 10 in Van Nuys Superior Court
If all that hasn't been horrible enough...Britney's former bodyguard Tony Barretto claims in a recent interview that the troubled star nearly suffered a drug overdose post-rehab last spring
 "She has mental problems, and they are not helped by her taking drugs and alcohol," Barretto says in the interview (I applaud his profound grasp of the obvious) Barretto made other relevations in the interview claiming that Britney: snorted cocaine two nights in a row at a L.A club, kept sons up late so they would sleep through the mornings and not wake her, hates her fans especially being touched by them, gets nude around staff to embarrass and make them feel uneasy, has a terrible farting and burping problem and staff couldn't sweat, stink, eat in front of or look at Britney's butt...
But is anyone really shocked by these claims??? (rhetorical) ... Speaking of shocking behavior from predictably shocking celebs...Paris Hilton continues to party and look for love in all the wrong places
Most recently sources claim Paris has fallen in love (again) when she met her non-famous, pizza delivering beau, 20, in Vegas. According to his friends:
"He's quite a shy, laid-back kind of guy. Paris will probably eat him alive."
Well as long as she's eating something I guess...partying and being useless does require some energy ... And finally, what's a wedding without a good, old-fashioned scrap? (again rhetorical). KATE MOSS and SIENNA MILLER kept the tradition alive at a mutual pal's reception with a foul-mouthed catfight this past weekend
Sienna arrived at the reception in London with a guy pal, not long after Cocaine Kate, who was with new fella Jamie Hince and best pal Sadie Frost.Evil glares were exchanged across the dancefloor as the tension mounted between the two camps
And after some serious alcohol lubrication it all kicked off: "Kate had a go at Sienna and accused her of stealing her style. She was ranting on about how Sienna was now trying to steal her lifestyle and her friends too. It was really cutting and everyone was listening to them"
"A few drinks had been sunk by the time Kate said it and Sienna had plucked up some Dutch courage too. She gave Kate as good as she got", a witness at Saturday's bash claimed
A fashionista face-off!!! How interesting (in a totally classless, hopelessly gauche kinda way). I'm rooting for Kate!! Cocaine gives you super powers don't you know?
Have a fantastic week everyone!
8 septembre For the Love of Fashion WeekThe following is a Britney free blog (other than the mention that she has been confirmed to perform at the MTV VMA's this year)...
It's fashion week in NYC and what better way to kick off the festivities than with a peek at the spring/summer 2008 designs from Gwen Stefani and her L.A.M.B. line
 This was Gwen's first show for fashion week in almost 2 years and she more than made up for lost time
 The eagerly anticipated show did not disappoint with Gwen producing a fun, 60's mod inspired line filled with glitz, glam and mini dresses
   Gwen finished the show with son Kingston in her arms....babies are the new handbags?
 ...
The Fashion Rocks concert in NYC this week also drew many celebs including unlikely duo Eve and the ageless Demi Moore
 a bloodless Mischa Barton
 a still skinny preggers Nicole Richie
 And the ever humble Avril Lavigne who recently boasted to Q magazine just how generous she really is:
 “I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”
Awwwwww how touching...the hurricane thing...makes one proud to be Canadian ... In other shocking fashion news Kate Moss is not eating!!
Friends, reports the Daily Mail, are concerned that Kate’s gone out of control after the latest round of battles with on-again off-again trainwreck Pete Doherty, and she’s more gaunt and sallow than usual...Kate has lost almost ten pounds in the last three weeks according to sources
Wow! ... And finally, in even less worthy fashion news, Paris Hilton is on the October cover of UK Elle
Inside she poses for lots of pics and says nothing of any consequence at all...
That's hot! Have a good week guys and dolls For more on fashion week go to www.style.com -L. 27 août Mommy Dearest...The summer weather may be winding down but the gossip juggernaut rolls on...
Nicole Richie, La la land's latest faux penitent celeb, managed to interrupt her bi coastal preggers parade just long enough to serve her sentence for DUI...
 About 82 minutes to be exact, long enough to be booked, printed, receive a mugshot and be released
 That's not a sentence...that's a state-sponsored photo shoot!
 ...
Meanwhile still ambiguously pregnant Christina Aguilera continues to shop for maternity clothes, baby furniture and other maternally-inclined supplies sporting an oh-so-trendy abdominal bump
 The Emperor is not wearing any clothes Xtina...just bloody confirm it already
 ...
Super MILF Gwen Stefani, who covered up during her shows in Malaysia so as not to offend strict deceny laws, was seen in Hawaii over the weekend with hubby Gavin and his mini-me
 Gwen is set to perform in Hawaii this week
 Aloha mama!
...
And in other Mommy news...America's favorite trainwreck Britney Spears enjoyed another lovely weekend of erratic behavior and odd publicity stunts
 Brit was pulled over when the LAPD noticed her white Mercedes speeding on the highway. The Los Angeles Highway patrol officer quickly accelerated up behind her in the fast lane and put on his lights. Britney, to everyones amazement, just casually continued on her way and it took her close to one mile to finally pull over and exit the freeway, where she pulled into a gas station to see another squad car waiting and ready to intercept her
 Britney pleaded innocent and used the old 'paparazzi were chasing me' line. Unbelievably (or not so unbelievably), she was just given a warning and sent on her way
...
Britney was also seen leaving a nightclub within 10 minutes of her old pal...
Paris Hilton.TMZ caught Brit and a covered up Hilton were spotted leaving Opera last night, within 10 minutes of each other...BFF again?
 Paris is supposedly in negotiations to play the daughter of infamous gangster Sam Giancana in a new biopic. The real Antoinette Giancana, who now runs a successful pasta business, has given Hilton her blessing to play her.The late Chicago, Illinois mob boss' daughter tells In Touch magazine, "I think she'd be great. She's a little wild - just like I was at that age."
 Meanwhile, gangsta Paris, who is on another hair extensions break, has been preparing for her role by throwing lavish parties at her beach house and flirting with Kid Rock
 But what about her extensions you ask??
 Well looks like someone else is putting Paris' hair to good use...
 Have a great week and long weekend everyone! -L.
9 août The Blog Days of SummerLong time no write fellow goss lovers!! Spaces was doing some (necessary?) upgrading, the network was slow, the goss was boring and well...it's summer and we all have better things to do, vraiment?
Paris has been enjoying her post-incarcerate time in Malibu doing the typical Paris summer thing...
 Hanging around her rented beach house in a bikini with 15 chihuahuas while the paps photograph her looking at photographs of herself (very existenially flawed je pense)
 In between parties she spews the odd little soundbyte just to remind us that she is capable of speech. Most recently Paris has told People magazine that Nicole Richie will be an outstanding mom
 She said: "She's really happy. I just got off the phone with her. She's so excited. I know she's going to be the best mom ever." You know, because being happy about something automatically qualifies you as competent...
 Like being a role model
...
Speaking of role models, things continue to get worse for Britney...
Kevin Federline is seeking primary custody of his and Britney Spears'children. A source told People magazine: "Kevin is worried Britney is exposing the boys to unnecessary risk. His lawyer hopes to get Kevin primary custody."
 Britney, who entered Malibu's Promises rehab center earlier this year, has been a regular fixture on the party scene.She also allegedly enjoyed a naked romp in a hotel pool just hours after breaking down in tears while shooting the promo for her comeback
single 'Get Back'
But even more heinous than that?? Brit has also been sporting designer knockoff handbags during her excursions. Voila Miss Spears, toting this egregiously fake pink Chanel. Meanwhile, a member of her entourage used one arm to hold Britney's hand, and another to hold a real Chloe Paddington bag
Somewhere Karl Lagerfeld is screaming "NON NON NON!! QUEL HORREUR!!"
... And last but not least Kate Moss is sticking to her proverbial guns since breaking it off with the human heroin dumping ground Pete Doherty...
A very 'rexy?' Kate has been spotted enjoying a vibrant and busy single life. Apparently she's now working out too, trying to live a more productive healthy lifestyle in between cigs. Good luck with that!
But hey, she's still the queen of the Fall 2007 fashion campaigns
Enjoy the hazy days of summer everyone!! -L.
21 juillet Summertime and the Blogging is EasyThe blogging is easy with this crew anyway...
 Will the real father please stand up? Nicole Richie has yet to even confirm her delicate condition (and I'm not talking about her legal condition) and there is already speculation regarding the paternity of her (maybe or maybe not) baby. A source claims, "Nicole recently underwent a series of tests, including blood and urine screenings, which confirmed she is pregnant."
 The source is also claiming that current boyfriend, Joel Madden, will undergo a series of paternity tests to find out if he is the father as Nicole had four men in her life around the time she (supposedly) conceived; Joel Madden, DJ AM, Brody Jenner and Jeff Goldblum
Jeff bloody Goldblum???!!!! Why???? Please tell me she just wanted to borrow his sunglasses
... Britney Spears has also had another dysfunctional, paparazzi filled week (would we expect any less?) Earlier this week Miss Spears led the paps on a wild goose chase all over town before pulling over in Malibu, and stripping down to her underroos...
to go swimming?
Brit was also photographed yesterday dressed (yes as in actual clothes) in a black outfit while filming the music video for her soon-to-be-released single "Get Back"
Still trying to figure out what she's trying to get back...
... And Miss party-with-my-rehab-ankle-brace-on Lindsay Lohan was officially booked yesterday for "misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence and hit-and-run" stemming from a car crash last May
She showed up at the police station, was processed, paid $30,000 bail (about what she makes an hour while filming) and was released
Tests subsequent to her arrest in May had revealed that Lohan had cocaine and nearly twice the legal amount of alcohol in her system that morning, according to a source close to the investigation
Police had also found "a usable amount" of cocaine inside her car... meaning that Kate Moss was nowhere near Lindsay's car that evening ... Determined to demonstrate that she's changed (and not just her shoes) since her incarceration Paris Hilton was spotted yesterday wearing her name tag from the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles displayed prominently placed on her dress
after which she promptly went shopping in said name tag...
until she found a more suitable top to wear
... And finally, on the heels (pun intended) of the hype that has been the Beckham's arrival in LA the UK's Daily Mail published some very unflattering pics of Victoria arriving at a film shoot in the Hollywood Hills (interesting how only one leg is plagued with cellulite and saggy skin...photoshop perhaps?) Her first offering, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America, a one-off special, was seen in the U.S. on NBC, attracting only 4.9million viewers. American critics were unimpressed by the show. The New York Post called it 'an orgy of self-indulgence' and described Mrs Beckham as 'vapid and condescending'
Not nearly as interesting and charismatic as Paris Hilton and her charming interview with Larry King I'm sure
*big thanks to Paul for the Posh pics*
Have a fantastic weekend and week ahead!! -L.
11 juillet J'adore DiorPlease God (or whoever) NO!!!!!!!
 Britney Spears is planning a hostile takeover of the manufactured music world. The singer is preparing to release her first song since 2005 in the next few weeks and has a "surprising" new sound
  Britney Spears' new single will be called 'Get Back'. Get back what exactly? Her sanity? Her kids? Her mother? Her hair? Her underwear?
A source said: "It's a very new sound for her. I think people will be surprised." Britney has been working with music producer Sean Garrett - who has previously collaborated with Beyoncé Knowles, Jennifer Lopez and Mary J. Blige - but it is yet known if he has produced her comeback single
 Meanwhile a braless Britney Spears made a pit stop at a public restroom at Taco Bell in Malibu yesterday ~ a class act indeed
 ...
Gwen Stefani was also seen bouncing around Malibu this week (not at Taco Bell however)
 Gwen and Gavin took time out of their *coughs* busy *coughs* schedules to take little Kingston to the beach
 Those abs are bananas!! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!!!!!!
 ...
And for anyone who missed it...Madonna brought the house down at last weekend's Live Earth concert in London
 Staged at venues in South Africa, London, New York and Hamburg, Germany the concert was an A list (with the Trannycat Dolls as the lone exception), star-studded attempt to draw attention to the new eco movement and issues surrounding global warming
 Madonna spiced things up by performing a high energy set that included Hey You, Ray of Light, La Isla Bonita and Hung Up
 And she did it all in custom made, studded Christian Louboutin Mary Jane pumps...kudos!!
...
Last week was also Paris fashion week for the Fall 2007/2008 Haute Couture shows. Buzz surrounded Chanel where it rained buckets and models were forced to strut through mud and gravel (hellooo dry cleaning bill) and Valentino where A lister after A lister came out to view the popular designer's high end wares
But the most extravagant production was perhaps John Galliano for Christian Dior. Held at the Orangerie in the Chateau Versailles Galliano pulled out all the stops in celebration of his 10 year anniversary with the house and Dior's 60th anniversary as a fashion mecca
 The show attracted celebs such as Kate Hudson,
 Dita Von Teese,
 And Sofia Coppola
 The show itself paid homage to Galliano's Spanish roots, 18th century French court styles and Dior's streamlined, wasp-waisted past with all the 90's era supermodels strutting their stuff
Gisele Bundchen
 Montreal's own Shalom Harlow
 Helena Christiansen
 Karen Mulder
 Amber Valletta
 Naomi 'duck! here comes the phone' Campbell
 And the fabulous Linda 'I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000/day' Evangelista
 Kate Moss was also scheduled to appear but backed out at the last minute as a result of her ongoing problems with a certain junkie boyfriend *sighs* oh well
Have a chic weekend everyone!
-L.
 3 juillet Canada eh?It was a long, busy and birthday filled weekend. ..
Firstly (and most importantly?) it was Canada's birthday!! Yes that's right ~ born on July 1st, 1867 Canada is the Lindsay Lohan of nation-states; young, cute, well-intentioned but completely under the negative influence of all the other crazy starlets in the neighbourhood with a nutty stage mother who thinks shes doing a wonderful job of parenting her
 July 1st is also Pamela Anderson's birthday
 Canada's own centennial baby Pammy turned the big 4 - 0 this weekend!!
 Pammy celebrated the milestone with ex hubby Tommy Lee (who is now dating Paris Hilton BFF Kim Stewart) and magician Hans Klok among others
 Canada - July 1, 1867
Pammy - July 1, 1967....coincidence?
...
July 1st was also Princess Diana's birthday
 Diana would have been 46 and in recognition of that (as well as the rapidly approaching 10 year anniversary of her death) her sons Princes William and Harry held a special benefit concert this weekend to raise money for all the causes Diana held dear
 Guests and performers included Fergie, Nelly Furtado and Sienna Miller
 Elton John opened and closed the tremendously successful show performing his tribute 'Candle in the Wind'
 No other members of the royal family attended (insert anti-monarchist sentiment here)
...
Speaking of Diana, John Travolta claims his famous dance with the late Princess saved his career
 John is quoted by Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper as saying: "That was an amazing moment because I was having a dip in my career and no-one was interested in me. Suddenly I was the only thing that mattered in America to Princess Diana and I was reborn. I was like, 'Wow! I matter to someone again.'
 Since his dance with Diana, who was tragically killed in a Paris car crash in 1997, the 53-year-old actor's career has soared
 That would be such a sincere and touching anecdote but how much credibility can really be extended to a scientologist in a wig????
... Lindsay Lohan also had a birthday this weekend. The mean girl herself turned 21 on July 2  Birthday celebrations took a backseat to Lindsay's ongoing rehab treatment at 'Promises' however
 This was perhaps a wise idea given the release of toxicology results from Lindsay's most recent fender bender which showed she had copious amounts of both alcohol and cocaine in her bloodstream...
 Shocking I know
...
Britney Spears was busy making headlines this weekend. Britney Spears served her mother with legal documents asking her to stay clear of her children. You can see a video of the transaction here
 Sources say Britney feels that her mom turned on her in the days before she entered Promises rehab facility. She also feels Lynne Spears is not stable enough to be around Brit's kids because she may have her own "issues." We're told the letter bluntly asks Lynne to stay away from the children if she is taking any medications that would impair her ability to be around them
 Family dysfunction is the new black?
 ...
In other news, unless you've been living under a rock the past week you are aware that Paris has been sprung
 Paris - who was released from jail on Tuesday (06.26.07) after serving 23 days for driving with a suspended license - flew to Hawaii for a holiday after completeing her interview with Larry King
 She traveled alone, disguised in a black wig and straw hat and is believed to be staying at a Maui resort
 Before jetting out to the idyllic destination Paris took out a lease on a $2.9 million Malibu beach house for the summer. The 2,258 sq ft two bedroom house is described as being "right on the water" and has three bathrooms
I guess she is back to what she knows best...
The simple life!!
Have a great week everyone!! -L. 21 juin The Beauty of GossipEveryone's favorite Canadian export Pamela Anderson is still playing assistant to illusionist Hans Klok in his 'The Beauty of Magic' show
 The brother and sister looking pair stopped by Howard Stern's studio for an interview recently
 They also took their over-the-top theatrics on the road performing yesterday on the Today Show for Matt Lauer
 They are the travelling carnies of the new millenium!!
 Who says there's no life after Baywatch and Playboy????
...
The pregnancy speculation surrounding Christina Aguilera continues...
 According to a NY Post source she is. Christina Aguilera wants to wait until she is officially three months before she makes her announcement to the public
 Rumours that Christina Aguilera is expecting a baby "are definitely true," according to a well-placed Page Six source. "She's been telling friends," said one snitch, who revealed, "she has to be three months now, because she's announcing it."
 This would be the first for Aguilera and her husband (slave), Jordan Bratman
...
So long Paris!! There's a new criminal in town...
 Nicole Richie's DUI trial has been set for July 11th. At a Los Angeles hearing yesterday, a trial date was set for 11 July after Richie's lawyers were reportedly unable to reach a plea bargain agreement with prosecutors. Richie was arrested for drink-driving last December (06). She is pleading not guilty to the charge and faces up to one year in jail if found guilty. The 25-year-old already has a 2003 misdemeanor DUI conviction
 Meanwhile speculation continues over Nicole's supposed pregnancy by boyfriend and punk poseur Joel Madden...
 Is she or isn't she?? And moreover, do we really care?
...
And finally, Happy Birthday to Paul McCartney!!!
Sir Elton John, daughter Stella, Natalie Portman and Kate Moss were among the many celebs that headed to St. John's Wood in London to celebrate the 65th birthday of Sir Paul McCartney
 Getting older obviously hasn't been slowing him down though; he just released an album, complete with a music video featuring Natalie Portman. He also may have had legal issues with Apple in the past but clearly that's over since he's starring in an Ipod commerical
 I have a theory that I am a long lost McCartney but I'll save that for another day. Hopefully the former Beatle will continue to rock on for many more birthdays in the future
 Have a great weekend everyone!! -L.  8 juin Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...right?**Warning: the following post contains yet another update on the vacuous, vapid and vain Miss Hilton**
Well the week started out innocently enough (relatively speaking of course). Pamela Anderson made an appearance at the opening night performance of magician Hans Klok's 'The Beauty of Magic' show in Las Vegas
 She played magician's assistant in a silver bedazzled version of her famous Baywatch bathing suit
 Perhaps the show would have been better titled 'The Magic of Cosmetic Enhancement'
 ...
There was also the MTV Movie Awards where the (mostly B list) glitterati strutted down the painfully conspicuous hot pink carpet
Competing with the carpet for attention was Jessica Alba in a bright red strapless sack
 Newly shorn Rhianna was also present doing her best ghetto flapperesque Jennifer Lopez
 And of course Miss Beckham made an appearance looking like she was styled by Britney Spears and the lead singer from Flock of Seagulls
 Then there were the LBD's... the endless parade of little black dresses. Cameron Diaz wore one...
 And so did Fergie
 And Jessica Biel *yawns*
 And the pre-incarcerate Paris Hilton
 Speaking of Paris... it's been an eventful week for everyone's favorite slutty socialite, even by her standards
After Hilton was lambasted by Sarah Silverman in her opening monologue at the MTV Movie Awards, Paris promptly turned herself in to begin her arduous 23 day sentence (23 days without a spray tan...yikes)
 Hilton was issued a booking number and wristband and surrendered her personal property to custody personnel for safekeeping. She was also issued jail clothing (Gucci?), an orange top and pants and personal hygiene items, according to the statement. When the booking process was completed around 1 a.m., Hilton was escorted to her cell where she promptly stayed...for three whole miserable, tear-filled, cell phone-less days at which point she was released
 Paris was then fitted for an ankle bracelet (in pink?) and reassigned to house arrest, after authorities determined to release Hilton from prison due to medical reasons, this according to Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept. spokesperson Steve Whitmore Whitmore said he could not release details about Paris' medical issue due to confidentiality reasons...I'm thinking of a little word that starts with 'H' and ends with erpes
But it doesn't end there...as a result of intense public and media reaction to her release Paris is now headed back to her cozy little cell. After a valiant effort on behalf of her lawyer to argue that her return to jail would trigger her complete mental breakdown the Judge has ordered that SHE HAS TO SERVE THE FULL SENTENCE - 45 DAYS! As soon as the ruling was ordered, Paris shouted: "IT’S NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom!!!!!"
She was in shackles and was removed screaming and crying!! Appeal! Appeal! Appeal! - Expect one by Monday (in the meantime if I come across anything juicy on Youtube I will link it here)
...
In other celebrity derailment news, pics of Lindsay Lohan and Nick Lachey g/f Vanessa Minillo getting very cozy with some kitchen utensils have surfaced online
Hmmmm she's like a post-rehab Queen of Hearts
OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!
Just make sure you don't slice a nipple
I'd like to give a huge THANK YOU to the lovely and talented Corona Gurl for my new siggy!!!!! Loooovvvveeeeesssssssssss it!!!!!!!
And I'm out... Have a great weekend everyone!! -L.
...
1 juin CrAzY TrAiN!!!!!!!I take a two week reprieve from msn spaces and everything goes off the rails...
 It's almost slammer time for Paris Hilton as the June 5th start date of her 23 day sentence approaches...
A source said: "Paris hasn't been eating at all (the pre-prison stress diet?) and her parents and friends are beyond worried about her. She breaks down crying a lot (enter the sympathy angle) because she just can't deal with the reality (but doesn't she do reality shows?) and the pressure of everything that is happening."
 Maybe she's upset about having to share a room. Officials have decided an inmate who is serving a sentence for reckless driving will be the perfect match as a cellmate. They have also tried to select someone they do not think will try to profit from the experience by selling their story to the media
 Perhaps they can toss Lindsay Lohan in there, deprive them of illicit substances and cell phones, film it and pitch a new reality series to Fox...'The Incarcerated Life'
 kinda catchy eh?
...
Speaking of Miss Lohan...
In addition to her recent fender bender, possession of cocaine, I'm going right back to rehab after I finish my month long bender and other oh-so-newsworthy exploits her father is now claiming his daughter suffers from multiple addictions, including a dependence on alcohol and the painkiller OxyContin also known as hillbilly heroin
 Michael - who has served jail time for DUI and assault convictions dating back to 2005 - said: "I spoke to the people treating Lindsay, because I wanted to make sure she was getting the right care. And I'm satisfied they are doing the right thing for her, helping her detox from the painkillers and other things. That's a very important step."
Lindsay checked into Malibu's Promises rehab center on Monday (05.28.07) where she is set to stay for a month of intensive treatment
Awwww so cute... father and daughter trainwrecks, the Cleavers for the new millenium. We can even include Lindsay's latest beau Calum Best in the mix After pictures of Calum in a drug-fuelled orgy with two hookers last week were published in a newspaper Mr. Best had the following to say: "I go out and get drunk, I get high on cocaine and I do stupid debauched things with the wrong women, I've got a problem. Sometimes I end up with one woman, other times two. That makes me sound so seedy, when I'm not," he insisted.
Nope not seedy at all ... Speaking of seedy (or just plain gross) that class act we all know and love, Britney Spears was found "vomiting uncontrollably" in the men's toilets of a bar on Sunday night
The singer had been drinking at the exclusive Sky Bar at Los Angeles' Mondrian hotel and needed to be carried out when she was discovered slumped over a toilet covered in vomit. A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Britney was found slumped over the toilet bowl with make-up smeared over her face and her wig hanging off."
"She had a room booked at the hotel but was too ill to stay and was begging her bodyguard to take her home. She looked a real mess and was sitting on the floor with her head over the bowl throwing up. There was vomit down the front of her dress and around her mouth. Britney was on her knees and must have been sick four or five times"
Sounds like an improvement...does Promises have any more vacancies?
...
Nicole Richie went onto Ryan Seacrest's radio show and defended her private email invite for a Memorial day party that is causing so much controversy. She claims it was a joke and doesn't understand why everyone is getting so upset about it
She said: "I mean, it rhymes. Are you really going to take an e-mail that rhymes that seriously? And it's a private e-mail to my friends. I was joking and I don't think there's anything wrong with it."
Hmmmm interesting logic, rhyming = not serious and therefore harmless
Maybe I can limerick my way out of some parking tickets
...
And in some positive celeb news...
No Doubt are coming back!!!
Rumour is that they have demos for new tracks and that No Doubt bassist Tony Kanal is accompanying Gwen on her Sweet Escape Tour so that they can write and fine tune some tracks for a new album!!! Have a great weekend everyone! -L.
18 mai I think I CannesThe South of France is once again alive with glitterati for the Annual Cannes film festival...but more about that momentarily
Paris Hilton is still going to serve time in the joint...just not as much time as originally thought
 Courthouse sources tell TMZ that Paris Hilton has officially decided to drop her probation violation appeal. Hilton's lawyer had planned to file an appeal at 1:30 PM yesterday in Judge Michael Sauer's courtroom. Sauer is the one who sentenced Hilton to 45 days in jail
Celeb attorney Richard Hutton met with Paris and informed her that the Sheriff has agreed to reduce the amount of time she'll have to serve to 23 days. The Sheriff has also agreed to put her in a celebrity cell, away from the general population...
I wonder if all jails are equipped with a celebrity cell ~ Are the meals catered? Are there spa treatments? Hmmm sounds better (and cheaper) than going on holiday, must look into this... ... Speaking of illegality... Christina Aguilera is set to perform in China next month, despite concerns her act is too raunchy The 'Dirrty' singer has been given permission from the Chinese government to appear at Shanghai's Grand Stage for a June 26th concert. A source told E! Online: "Not every foreign artist has the luck to win Beijing's approval and Christina's sexy performance had been a concern when applying for permission to perform."
Just remember Christina ~ eating a raccoon = good, showing cleavage = bad ... And speaking of cleavage (Don't you just love the segues?)...
Our dear Canadian friend, Pamela Anderson, abandoned her perpetual white wardrobe for an evening in black at Merix in Hollywood on Tuesday
Now if she had just remembered to wear the rest of her outfit...
... And it's that time again!! The Cannes film festival...where celebs and (celeb wannabes) pretend to care about film so that they can be seen walking yet another red carpet... or, in Liz Hurley's case, wearing a red carpet
Hey! At least this carpet's in France...
Jude Law ...or Corey Hart?
Jessica Simpson at Cannes?? That's about as wrong as Michael Jackson in a daycare ~ One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong
Have a great weekend everyone! -L. 7 mai Dysfunction JunctionParis is going to jail!!!
 For those who have been locked in a closet the past few days...A judge has ordered Paris Hilton to jail for 45 days! She will begin her sentence on June 5th. Paris violated her probation after driving on a suspended license (she was already on probation) after pleading no contest last January to alcohol-related reckless driving. The DMV had suspended Hilton's license as a result of her DUI bust
 A tearful Paris told the Judge, "I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all," before he announced the sentence. Hilton claims that her publicist Elliott Mintz told her she was still allowed to drive for work purposes. Since being sentenced Paris has fired her publicist Prosecutors maintained that Paris Hilton was fully aware of the details of her probation as the documents outlining her driving suspension were found in plain view in her car. Paris' mother Kathy Hilton heckled prosecutors during their closing arguments by laughing openly and asking for their autographs
Paris will be spending 45 days and nights with 2200 of her closest female felons at Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF) located in Lynwood, CA. But Paris will most likely be segregated from the rest of the prisoners and live in a one or two-person cell. Paris will get just one hour a day to shower, exercise, watch TV or talk on the phone, but NO Blackberries allowed. As for the food menu the CRDF serves three low-sodium poultry based meals a day Writing Paris a letter:
Inmate name and Booking Number http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=859951022
Does Versace make prison garb??
...
Lindsay Lohan has been caught on camera doing coke (surprise surprise). Grainy footage shot with a camera phone depicts Lindsay and an unidentified gal pal doing coke in a bathroom stall
There is a shot of her touching her nose. She is also rumored to say the following on the film the camera phone caught, "Tomorrow I will f&*# Jude Law!!"
To make matters worse, a new source is revealing that Lindsay:
As far as all those water bottles we have been seeing her with lately a source is saying that it ain't water, "Lindsay does not care who sees her do coke and where she does it.She carries round a water bottle to try to fool everyone into thinking she is clean but she tips the water out and refills it with vodka and soda."
Stay tuned for a link to the footage!
...
And in less interesting news, an uber orange Jessica Simpson spent the weekend partying with Eva Longoria at the Pussycat Doll Lounge in Vegas
The BFFs took pics of themselves and hung out with Jessica's hair stylist Ken Paves and B list actor (C list, D list?) Mario Lopez
Fun times! I wonder if Daddy would approve
Have a great week! -L. 1 mai It Ain't Easy Being FabulousIt's May day and everyone knows what that means...
Get out your claws and credit cards ladies!!! Kate Moss' collection for Brit clothing chain Topshop goes on sale today
 Kate appeared at Topshop's flagship store on Oxford Street in London to promote the line
 Unfortunately for Kate (and fortunately for everyone else) Pete Doherty is set to miss the launch of fiancée Kate's new fashion line and stint as mannequin because he is having a new implant fitted to help him quit drugs
 Perhaps he should pick up an extra one...
 ...
Nicole Richie and beau Joel Madden took in the natural wonders of the world in Sydney, Australia yesterday during a quick visit to Taronga Park Zoo, which houses 340 species and over 2600 individual animals
 Nicole, dressed in full 80's regalia, was hoping to catch a glimpse of the rare and elusive Axl Rose species complete with Axl-style headband skull scarf
 Or maybe she was just trying to cover the extensions damage
 ...
Speaking of extensions, Nicole Richie frenemy Lindsay Lohan was seen grooving at the Coachella Music Festival in California this past weekend
 And before anyone says anything about the suspender shorts...it is the author's humble opinion that any clothing item that prevents the clothes from coming off is a positive development for Lindsay
  ...
And finally International mother extraordinaire Angelina Jolie was spotted out and about with Wyclef Jean in NYC last night
 The perpetual wild child even went so far as to NOT wear head-to-toe black for the occasion
 She's living on the edge now!
Have a great week everyone!! -L. 24 avril Pop & CircumstanceOops she did it again! Everyone's favorite trainwreck, Britney Spears, managed to once again leave the house (hotel, limo, trashbin) looking frightfully un-chic. Wearing her trademark cowboy hat, new brunette wig and blue contact lenses (borrowed from Paris Hilton?) Brit stopped by an LA tanning salon on Saturday for a little fake-n-bake...
 In other Brit news, Spears is considering quitting pop music to be a stay-at-home mom. Britney is said to be dreading the prospect of re-launching her career because she cannot bear to be apart from her sons (read: because she cannot bear to acknowledge her career actually quit her sometime ago)
 Note to Britney: being a stay-at-home mom means you may have to actually stay at home with your children once in awhile
Speaking of (not) staying at home with the kids, K-Fed was seen partying the night away at TAO nightclub in Vegas this past weekend with none other than...
 Ex Brit BFF Paris Hilton ~ A source said: "Paris and Kevin were both dancing and seemed very wrapped up in each other." ... classy!
... Meanwhile a seizure-inducing
Look deep into her dress...you are getting very sleepy...
... And in other premiere news, indie darling Kirsten Dunst walked the red carpet in a goth-inspired Rodarte dress for the Spiderman 3 premiere in London last night. I guess this fulfills her perfunctory mainstream movie quota for the year
A girl's gotta eat (drink blood) you know
No worries, Kirsten will be back to her unwashed ingenue self by dawn
... When the material girl's away, the Guy will play. Madonna hubby Guy Ritchie is said to have seriously pissed her Madgesty off this past weekend by partying it up with his pals while the queen bee was in Malawi looking to adopt a baby girl
An eyewitness tells British newspaper The Daily Record, "Guy went all out to let his hair down. He came with a group of blokes who were all up for having a big night. Guy seemed a bit solemn at first. He seemed determined to drown his sorrows as the drinks flowed. Then he hit the dance floor and spotted a leggy brunette. They seemed to just click together. When they got talking they began dancing closely. They didn't leave together but got very close on the dance floor." Hmmmmm wonder how old this 'leggy brunette' was, perhaps Madonna can adopt her!
Have a great week everyone! -L. 16 avril WTF - The Nyquil EditionOkay well here I am recovering from the intense head cold (and Nyquil coma) that completely decimated my weekend and prevented me from updating this space, so without further ado...
Looks like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are enjoying their rekindled romance...again
 The couple have spent the last few days (weeks? months? years?) chillin out on the beaches of Maui and you know it must be getting serious (again) since Pammy certainly looks ... happy?
 Makeup?? Who needs it!! What's a little sun damage between lovers anyhow
 Ditto with the breast implants ~ saline, silicone, puckered, crooked, gargantuan...does it really matter? Pammy doesn't care so why should we?
 ...
Speaking of sun damage, everyone's favorite orange-kissed socialite, Paris Hilton, and fellow bad ass Nicole Richie are gearing up for the premiere of season NOT AGAIN of the Simple Life. Photoshop certainly did a fine job of giving Nicole curves on the press poster but apparently Paris' head was merely an after thought
 Not like she needed it anyway
Uber bronze Paris was also seen this past weekend with her latest boy toy (names of Hilton conquests is too much work at this point) at the Upstage Country Club looking like a long lost character from the Teddy Ruxpin cartoon
 Mudblups are defined on the Teddy Ruxpin fan page as "lumpy animated blobs of mud, dull-witted and slow moving"
 ......yup sounds about right
Meanwhile, a more natural looking (relatively speaking of course) Nicole Richie made an appearance at the 14th Annual Race to Erase MS dance and fashion show
 Nicole and Nikki Hilton modeled Tommy Hilfiger mini-dresses to raise money for the event while cutely holding hands... before disappearing to the green room to pilfer the gift bags, antagonize the event staff and snort coke
 ...
Britney Spears has also been busy doing something other than growing her hair back and shopping. Britney was seen this weekend on her way to a (flash)dance studio in LA carrying what looks like roadkill
 There's being inspired by the 1980's and then there's looking like you vomited up the 80's all over yourself ~ This distinction, however, was apparently lost on poor (completely insane) Brit
 ...
Speaking of 80's, Lindsay Lohan has been let loose on Tokyo (and the Japanese thought Godzilla was a nuisance)
 Miss Lohan, in Japan to shoot her Jill Stuart ad campaign, has been seen clubbing and shopping it up all over town (and, according to some rumours, getting way too friendly with a certain female DJ)
 No worries Japan, this nuisance only destroys itself
Have a good week everyone and remember, if it's not juicy...who cares? -L.
6 avril Beaches and B*tchesIt's Good Friday, the sun is shining, everything is closed but the gossip machine stops for nothing...
Cokate Moss is not letting a little home video ruin her trip to LA
 She's been sunning and shopping it up despite the release of a personal video of her and Pete Doherty in her cottage in the Cotswolds:
 It shows Pete filming himself sitting in a room playing one of his new songs, while a scantily clad Kate - seemingly a little worse for wear - cavorts in a chair next to him. She randomly interrupts his singing by either joining in or hurling obscenities at him. Kate Moss yells at him: "Rot in jail you c***! Rot, rot, rot, rot, rot, rot."
 She disappears to "get a drink" but then reappears at the doorway and yells: "Oi c***face!" The video was posted by Pete onto a fan website, before someone else put it on YouTube
Sounds fun, maybe they should feature that footage on the Topshop website and include a little baggy of baby powder with each purchase ~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPvmwuLaXhE ... The sidekick is spilling the beans ~ organic, vegan, non-fat, overpriced designer beans of course but beans nonetheless. Kim Kardashian, better known as Paris Hilton's BFF for about 5 minutes is talking about why she and Paris are no longer chummy and it involves Britney Spears:
While in NYC during Fashion Week this past February, Kim spoke in regard to her ties with Britney Spears. It was from Kim's mouth that said Britney had her people contact Paris and say they couldn't hang out anymore because Paris wasn't good for her image
WoW! This reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer and Bart had a bootlegging operation in a bowling alley where they would fill bowling balls with booze and send them down a secret passageway to a speakeasy ...only this is with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and the bowling balls are filled with coke and the operation involves random sex with strangers, incessant text messaging and Kim Kardashian tipping off Page Six spies through her ex-publicist ... Pammy has gone bouncing back to the beach...
Well ummm only the non-botoxed parts bounce at this point
Rumour has it that Pamela has also gone bouncing back to her ex. Pammy has apparently moved back in with ex hubby and daddy extraordinaire, Tommy Lee
Well if that's true... who the hell is this guy???
... Gwen is not preggers!!! Rumours are 'winding up' that Gwen is preparing for baby number 2 but this certainly can't be the case...
Especially since she just posed for the May issue of Harper's Bazaar with freshly bleached hair in constricting haute couture and added more dates to her World Tour
Wait! She did that last pregnancy too... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Enjoy the long weekend everyone!! -L.
30 mars Blonde & BlonderTaking a temporary reprieve from my new Facebook addiction to drop some fresh goss ~ Well it looks like Spring is close to being sprung (or has sprung depending on your proximity to the equator) and everyone is lightening up...their hair that is
What is it about Spring that makes everyone want to go blonde?? (even, in some cases, where they shouldn't) is it weather euphoria? Are people inspired by sunlight and wish to capture its essence in their locks? A form of temporary insanity brought on by a sudden influx of warmth or vitamin D after months of deprivation? Who knows really...let's hope everyone comes back to their senses soon though
Victoria Beckham's new blonde crop is getting so much attention (ie. press) that it likewise inspired her hubby David to reveal a matching do this week
 What's next Becks? Manorexia? Implants?
 ...
Lindsay Lohan also lightened the dark chocolate locks she's been sporting the past few months
 All the better to desperately chase after perma horny and newly single James Blunt my dear
 ...
Of course blondeness is not new to Paris Hilton ~ but jail might be...
Miss Hilton, seen partying with Hef for his 81st birthday, has been found in violation of the terms of her probation and faces a maximum sentence of 90 days in jail, the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office announced Thursday
 Hilton was spotted Feb. 27 speeding down Sunset Boulevard around 11 p.m. without her headlights on, says L.A. Sheriff's spokesman Oscar Butao. After pulling over her 2007 Bentley Continental GTC Convertible, officers found Hilton was driving with a suspended license - the result of her DUI arrest last September
Hilton's rep and attorney were not immediately available for comment because they are probably dead from humiliation at her colossal stupidity ... Speaking of perma-blondes, Courtney Love has been sporting a new look as of late...
Beach bunny! Loves insists that she has recently shed 44 lbs. and wants to show it off
Do we really need to know how this happened?? Do we??
... And finally uber-blonde fashion designer Donatella Versace is seeking help for her anorexic daughter, Allegra. The fashion designer announced the 20-year-old had been admitted to hospital to be treated for the eating disorder
Does anyone else see the irony in this at all?? Let's hope she gets the treatment she needs And that's all from me ~ back to crackbook ~ have a great weekend!! -L. 20 mars Tied-up TuesdayYou prayed and wished they would go away, you hoped against hope that the franchise would die a quick death, you were tired of their contrived shenanigans but...
They're baaaaaaacccckkkk!!!!!!
 Paris and Nicole have teamed up for yet another installment of that series that won't quit, 'The Simple Life' and this time they are filming together ~ coming to a desperate cable channel near you...
 Be afraid, be very afraid
Speaking of Nicole, it appears that she did not learn from the Victoria Beckham school of extensions overload
 If you'll recall, Posh suffered a bald patch last year from her tugging hair extensions that caused her to remove all her extensions and chop off her remaining locks
 Perhaps Rogaine should look into a sponsorship for 'The Simple Life'
...
Miss Lindsay has been in heavy rotation on the party circuit since exiting Wonderland last month
 She was seen out and about in NYC this week in typical Lindsay regalia:
1. blue contact lenses ~ check
2. water bottle filled with Vodka ~ check
3. Spray tan ~ check
4. dark ripped tights and ankle boots ~ check
 Lovin the lack of pants here, there's something so Shakespeare about it all ~ this was such a fashion forward idea when it was first done...by Edie Sedgwick...when she was high on speed and actually forgot her pants...in the 1960's
...
Look over there!! It's a bird!! It's a plane!! It's Sebastian Bach from 80's rock group Skid Row
 Oh sorry! It's Fergie ~ it appears Miss Meth was touring through Eastern Europe this week where she was seen performing in a bunch of dollar store bandanas sewed together into a mini-dress
 And for the ultra low price of $10 this look could be yours!!
...
And finally....
Christina Aguilera enjoyed some of our national sport while she was in Vancouver last week (that's hockey for anyone who really does not know)
 When in Rome...eh?
 Have a great week everyone! L. 16 mars Eye of the CougarSo Angelina adopted a boy from Vietnam... scary! ~ This is child number 4 in as many years and she's showing no signs of slowing down. What does she want exactly? A football team? An army? A mini UN? Or maybe she's planning to form a team somewhere in the Hollywood Hills of mini Angelinas....thin, tattooed, international little coke-snorting Angelina clones wearing vials of blood, flying planes, french kissing each other and chattering about their dislike of John Voight ~ be careful Hollywood, this could be the next Manson compound ~ but enough about mass murder and international adoption...
Is she or isn't she?
 Rumours are flying that real life Mrs. Robinson, Demi Moore, is preggers with Ashton Kutcher's child. Her rep has already issued a denial (of sorts) saying, "If or when Demi is pregnant, she and her husband will decide if that extremely private information should be made public."
 So then it must be true, right? She was in Las Vegas earlier this week for ShoWest and covered herself up when posing with Kevin Costner and Dane Cook ~ of course, I'd cover myself up posing with Kevin Costner too ~ we all know what kind of bodyguard he was
 ...
Fergie is a drunk mess
Fergie, 31, was banned from boarding a jet for being drunk. She was about to fly from Los Angeles to Britain with bandmates when airline staff saw she was slurring her words and could hardly stand. Fergie, who has battled booze and drugs, drunkenly raged at them and had to be pulled away by friends
 One witness said: "She was falling all over the place and had to be supported. She was in no state to fly. She was drunkenly ranting at staff but could barely string a sentence together. It was very embarrassing."
Correction witness ~ her face is very embarrassing...her being a drunk clown in public is merely par for the course for Miss Meth
...
Madonna was in London this week for the launch of her new collection with frugal-friendly clothing line H&M
She walked the red carpet in a dress and coat of her design for the collection
And also with a preternaturally smooth forehead of her own design
Madonna for H&M....spend $100 and get 50% off your next Botox session!
...
This is Carmen Electra at the Max Factor Salutes Hollywood Fashion Show...
This is Carmen Electra falling on her butt at said fashion show
Any questions?
Have a great weekend everyone!!! Happy St. Patty's Day!! L. 13 mars Pick Up TuesdayMy apologies for the extended absence from the blogosphere ~ a complete lack of newsworthy items kept me away. Waxing poetic over Salma Hayek's frizzy pregnancy hair does not a blog make (she's pregnant by the way for everyone who has yet to hear the news)
But, as the cyber purveyor of celeb trends, I have noticed an interesting pattern in the most recent batch of paparazzi photos. What is it you ask??? Well, despite all the wealth and resources money can buy, getting it 'to go' seems to be de rigeur these days...
Ashley (alien) Olsen was seen leaving an LA Starbucks double fisting lattes
 Likewise for Miss Gwen who was spotted in Palm Springs with some fast grub to go
 And of course, if it's a trend, then Paris Hilton is also doing it ~ she was seen leaving In-N-Out Burger in Hollywood a few nights ago with a little treat of her own
 Of course Paris was also seen picking up some clothes to go
 And some Elisha Cuthbert to go ... (I have to assume Elisha was picked up against her will and that she would never voluntarily hang out with Herpes Hilton)
 Newly blonde Lindsay Lohan, not to be outdone by the fast food loving set, tried to pick up a small boy in NYC...
 Perhaps she was emulating the Queen of picking up children and positive publicity...Miss Jolie, who's recent trip to Chad has been garnering some very press worthy shots
 Ahhhh yes Lindsay...that is how it's done
**btw**
I finally started a myspace page (after much encouragement from Mary-Rose) so if any of my spaces pals has a myspace feel free to add moi
 www.myspace.com/lolaplatinumzeitgeist Have a great week everyone! -L. 6 mars Hump Day DivasMadonna has been arrested in LA!!!!!!!
While dressed as a flapper no less!!
 Okay well not really ~ It's just Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie in costume for the annual Purim Celebration at the Kaballah Center in LA this past weekend, but don't they look cute? I just love how he tries to cling to her like Britney clinging to the last shreds of her sanity
 And don't you just love how Queen Madge, looking mildly annoyed, dismissively shrugs him off? It's so adorable... in a hopelessly emasculating, pathetic kinda way
...
Speaking of (not) adorable...
The Olsen twins were all over Paris for fashion week. I think they must have pillaged every funeral home dumpster in the city
 No worries though, I'm sure they had enough time to attend the odd fashion show and transmit signals to the mothership
 ...
Christina took her Back to Basics Tour to Las Vegas this weekend
 After her show on stage at Mandalay Bay Christina headed over to Pure in Caesars Palace to help the Trannycat Dolls celebrate the opening of their new casino (read: massage parlour with card games)
 Christina and the Trannies in one club?? I bet that dancefloor was hot...and dripping with self-tanner
 ...
While Christina partied it up in Vegas, Paris Hilton demonstrated just how much she knows (or cares) about poker at the World Poker Tournament Invitational at the Commerce Casino in California
 All in all it was a successful night at the table for Paris... she managed to flirt with Vince Vaughan and keep her chips from getting tangled in her hair extensions!
 You go girl!
 ...
Since leaving rehab Lindsay Lohan has a message for all those who think she parties too much
 Yup, that's right everybody!! She does not spend all her free time drinking and drugging and smoking and hooking up with random guys at clubs
 I'm sure she sleeps too!!
 ...
And finally America's new Canadian sweetheart Rachel McAdams will model the dresses of last month's Paris couture shows in the upcoming issue of Elle magazine
 I use the term 'model' loosely here since Rachel really only has one pose in her photoshoot repertoire...
 The dead-eye stare!
 Have a fabulous week everyone!!
 L.BTW ~ I do realize that it's technically not Hump Day... yet!
3 mars The Skinny on the SkinniesNot much new in the land of the rich and the useless...
Is she or isn't she??? Nicole Richie (who was taken to the hospital for dehydration this week) stopped for coffee in Hollywood (at least she consumes something) wearing what everyone thinks might be an engagement ring from Hilary Duff ex Joel Madden
 But more pressing than that... look at those chipped nails!!! Yikes! Does she know that nail polish remover is only 99 cents??!!! Jeez girl
 ...
The on-and-off again troublesome couple Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were nominated for the sexiest couple award at the Shockwaves NME Awards 2007 at the Hammersmith Palais on Thursday in London, England
 Ok I can understand Kate's nomination (when she's sober and after she's showered of course) but Pete Doherty sexy?? That's like nominating Jessica Simpson for a Pulitzer ~ it just shouldn't happen
 Kate was also seen earlier this week in London buying herself some stuff she can sniff...
 Flowers! What did you think I meant?
 ...
The paps caught up with Paris Hilton in LA this week going to a medical appointment (I'm thinking of a little word that starts with 'H' and ends with 'erpes')
 Cute outfit ~ who's her doctor, Willy Wonka?? Talk about red, white and eeewww
 "This is a story, of a skank named Brady"
  Ok ok I'm outta here ~ have a good one everyone L.  26 février I (heart) Oscar!** DO NOT STEAL MY BANDWIDTH**
I
 the opening monologue (which was rather safe this year), the montages, Jack Nicholson wearing shades in the front row, the comedic skits (not bad Will Ferrell and Jack Black), the goofs (ahem Penelope Cruz is not from Mexico), the well deserved wins (congrats to Martin Scorsese ~ finally ~ and Forest Whitaker) but what I really is the red carpet!Continuing the trend from previous years, the red carpet was on the safe side this year (guess the Oscars red carpet is no longer the place to make bold statements a la Cher) ~ on the plus side ~ there was lots of color color color!! ~ So without further ado...
Firstly, there were the mehs (better known as the yawns or the blahs) These were the lovely ladies that have the potential to knock it out of the park but stuck to a tired formula and were frankly boring. Leading the pack of mehs was Beyonce in Armani Prive ~ basically the same gown she wears to everything!!!! in another color of course *sighs*
 Then there was the oh-so-cute (and slimmer) Reese Witherspoon in a deep purple Nina Ricci. We get it! You like strapless! How lovely! Now please do something with that hair and try (gasp!) a different bloody gown style
 A surprising meh this year was Kate Winslet in a mint green Valentino gown ~ gorgeous Kate ~ who has floated down red carpets like a dream ~ looked like a lumpy satin pillow...in a cheap hotel...outside Niagara Falls...next to a KFC and a strip club ~ it just didn't stand out like it could have Kate *tsk tsk*
 And of course there was Jennifer Lopez and her ubiquitous Grecian red carpet theme ~ Here's an idea to finally lay to rest those pesky pregnancy rumours... wear another empire waist Grecian-style Marchesa gown ~ perfect! That'll shut up the tabloids for sure
 ...
Then there were the ladies that did knock it out of the park...
Like Rachel Weisz who looked very old Hollywood film noir in a platinum (but of course) satin Vera Wang gown
 And a sunny Naomi Watts in a pale yellow gown reminiscent of Cate Blanchett's yellow gown from last year
 Speaking of Cate Blanchett ~ she was consistently perfect in a steely Armani Prive one shoulder masterpiece
 And Penelope Cruz went for flashy flamenca in a pale Atelier Versace
 But the piece de resistance was statuesque Nicole Kidman in my favorite gown of the evening ~ a crimson Balenciaga column with a red bow tied at the throat ~ c'est gorgeous n'est pas?
 ...
Of course there were the wtfs??!! of the evening ~ as in what wtf were they thinking, wtf were their stylists thinking and wtf were their mirrors before they left their palatial estates in the Hollywood Hills??
Gwyneth Paltrow ~ beautiful woman ~ bad dress...a pinky rust colored Zac Posen with just enough webbing and ill-fitting sheer to bring to mind her horrible Alexander McQueen gown from years past
 Kirsten Dunst ~ who usually does crazy in a cute way ~ arrived in an odd Chanel haute couture feathered hem thing clutching her abdomen ~ was the dress making her sick too??
 There was also Anne Hathaway's attempt to wear a bow on her Valentino gown ~ but it came off looking like a misplaced Christmas ornament you would see on a split entry home in the suburbs ~ guess the Devil wears Prada and Anne wears crap???!!
 Cameron Diaz (better known as the Joker or moon face) also chose Valentino ~ funny... I didnt know Valentino made cotton bed sheets...wonder what the thread count was
 And there is always someone who aspires to look like an Oscar statue (never a good look) ~ this year it was Jada Pinkett Smith in Carolina Herrarra
 ...
Let's not forget the after-party girls!!! The Vanity Fair after party seemed to be the post Oscar bash this year. Gwen, doing her best Grace Kelly, was there with cute hubby Gavin
 Tyra, another lady in red, also made an appearance
 And then there was Queen Madge partying it up and looking better than others half her age
 50 is the new 30?? perhaps...
 And those were the highlights (and lowlights) from this year's Academy Awards red carpet ~ I leave you now with another shot of my favorite dress of the evening!!
 Have a good week!! -L. 23 février G.I. Brit & Other Loose Ends** DO NOT STEAL MY BANDWIDTH!**
I survived a heartbreaking last few days and I would like to sincerely thank everyone for their condolences and well wishes ~ it's a tremendous relief to have the funeral behind me ~ and speaking of funerals...
A verdict was finally reached in the (one of many) Anna Nicole case ~ Looks like Anna Nicole will finally be laid to rest in the Bahamas with her son Daniel
 ...
Gwen Stefani, who may appear as a guest judge on this season's American Idol, is in hyper album promotion mode lately. She's been flitting from one interview to another and preparing for her upcoming tour
 Yesterday she was seen leaving an interview with UK Radio 1 where she had the following to say about Britney Spears:
"I used to live in the same area as Britney for a while. I just want to scoop her up and give her a kiss. I hope she's all right. She's just had a new baby and stuff. I hope she can just enjoy it because it's an incredible thing."
 Awwww she hopes Britney is alright, that's so sweet! Hate to burst your naively optimistic bubble Gwen but Britney's so far from alright she makes Michael Jackson look well balanced
 ...
And speaking of Britney ~ everyone has been chattering about her recently shorn, just joined the Navy Seals look
 Unless you were living in a cave, Britney shaved her own head at a tattoo parlour in LA last week. Some say she was tired of her damaged hair from extensions and coloring (a bit drastic, non?) or that she was paying homage to her Aunt who recently passed from breast cancer
 Less positive rumours cite that she shaved her head to get rid of a nasty case of head lice (that rumour came from the UK) or that she was trying to hide hair damage caused by extensive drug use ~ hmmmmmm
So then Britney checked herself in and out of rehab twice and has been seen hopping about LA and NYC sporting a badly fitted wig
 The latest on poor Brit??? Wednesday night, a desperate Britney was photographed outside the home where her ex, Kevin Federline was holed up with their 2 sons. A furious Britney dressed in white shorts and a hooded sweatshirt was photographed by the bloodsuckers repeatedly striking an SUV with an umbrella
 After reportedly spending 45 minutes outside his residence (KFed refused to let her in the house), Britney's mom picked her up and eventually brought her to the rehab facility ~ I smell a meltdown of catastrophic proportions
 ...
Paris celebrated her 26th (or 29th depending on which ID she's been using) birthday last week by going clubbing where she proceeded to get drunk and dance on tables
 Let's all try to disguise our collective shock at her antics (yawns)
 Note to Paris: no more red carpet until you've blended your foundation, self tanner and tucked away your extension bonds
 Have a good weekend everyone! -L.
19 février Closed for RepairsDue to an unforseen death in the family I will be away and unable to update for a few days. Thank you to everyone for their kind words, emails, comments and patience -L.
Out, out, brief candle! -William Shakespeare / Macbeth, 1606 P.S.
Photobucket has also unceremoniously advised me that I have exceeded my bandwidth and will not be able to post or display photos (including my newly shorn Britney shots) until the 22nd. In the future please right click and save any photos you might want to your own hard drive instead of linking me directly. Thank you. |
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